Oh, I bet you’re expecting me to write this guide with lots of references to ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’. Sorry to disappoint you, but here at BBB we like to put emphasis on the experience when writing our gift guides. After all, what’s the point of writing an adult Christmas gift guide if you don’t get to do a little testing? What’s more, we certainly don’t want you to restrict sexy gifts to the holiday season!
So, here’s our selection of gift picks for friends and lovers for this festive season (or any other time) that you will probably need to tell them not to open in front of the family.
Je Joue Hera Flex
This smooth, body-safe and waterproof silicone rabbit-style Je Joue Hera Flex vibe has certainly got a luxurious feel to it. The Body Flex technology allows you to position the interior dildo part to hit the places where it feels best for you or your partner, while the clitoral stimulator has a broad surface for maximum contact and can also be adjusted to the most delightful position. As well as being vegan and cruelty-free, the toy is rechargeable and comes with a USB lead, so if you have no one to blame but yourself if it conks out at the wrong moment!
After canvassing a range of opinions (it’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it), the consensus was that the texture is wonderfully velvety and the vibration has a very pleasing rumble, due to the two motors. It’s quite fun experimenting with the positioning of the two parts and very satisfying when you manoeuvre it into exactly the right spot, which is easy to do by yourself or for someone else. It is – and this is so important – really easy to keep clean and comes in a discreet pouch, just in case you need to take it on tour…
Smilemakers The Poet
This adult Christmas gift really got my attention. Take it from a literature teacher, this Poet from Smile Makers really does suck – and that’s exactly why it deserves its wonderful reputation. Many clitoris-owners feel that direct stimulation is too powerful, but the recent surge in air-pulse products means they are being increasingly catered for in the toy market. Instead of high-powered vibrations, the bursts of air create a sensation a bit more like a gentle rhythmic sucking or tapping.
Smile Makers’ air-pulse clitoral stimulator is charmingly shaped like a rosebud (how romantic!), with some indents on the side for grip… that actually respond to pressure in some modes; yes, if you squeeze it, it ramps up the sensation. The box even includes a tiny poetry book (it’s actually the instructions, but there is one poem in there). Finally, there is a USB charging cable and three interchangeable silicone mouths to let you choose your perfect fit.
Made from velvety, premium silicone and powered by advanced pulsation tech, The Poet offers five modes ranging from gentle tease to ‘I need to breathe for a second’. It’s quiet, rechargeable, waterproof, and genuinely lovely to hold – which is ideal, because you’ll be holding it a lot.
this book will make you feel something by Florence Bark
This year, it’s all been about reading sexual fantasies. If your partner loved Gillian Anderson’s Want compilation, this book will make you feel something by Florence Bark, will fit perfectly on their bedroom bookshelf. Or bedside table. Or in their hand, if they’re dexterous with the other. And if they’re not, maybe you can offer to hold the book for them..? I’m sure you’ll think of something.
Bark’s collection of tales to wank to starts with some tips on masturbation, which she freely admits is aimed at owners of vulvas, and there are little tips for maximising pleasure dotted throughout. Most helpfully, each story has a little title page to tell you how long it will take to read, something about the character of the sexual partner in the tale (mostly personality or situation, rather than their gender or appearance so your imagination can do the rest), and a tick-list showing the range of sexual activities that appear (from masturbation, oral, toys and penetration to BDSM).
If nothing else convinces you, masturbation is proven to have health benefits. It releases oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine – happy hormones – and prevents insomnia, but it can also help prevent UTIs, improve your heart health, and can even help lower the risk of type-2 diabetes. If the vulva-owners in your life aren’t already enthusiastically touching themselves, what better adult Christmas gift than health?
Je Joue Mio Cock Ring
Strong, flexible, and deliciously smooth, this vibrating cock ring is all about amplifying sensation for whoever’s wearing it and whoever they’re playing with. Penis, dildo, strap-on… Mio doesn’t discriminate. If it fits around it, it enhances it.
Its cleverly curved motor sits right where you want the power to concentrate, delivering vibration that can be felt along the shaft and by any body parts lucky enough to be nearby. The stretch is generous without losing tension, the silicone is velvety and body-safe, and the whole thing is waterproof and wonderfully easy to clean (a surprisingly underrated feature until you’re the one washing it).
Rechargeable by magnet connection, versatile, and extremely good at its job, the Mio is perfect for couples, throuples, solo sessions, or any configuration where someone enjoys a strong buzz in exactly the right place. If you’re looking for a stocking-sized adult Christmas gift that makes a big difference, this one should earn a spot on your list.
Pleasure is personal, exploration is empowering, and the right toy can transform everything. Dive in with curiosity, and enjoy every delicious moment! We hope our adult Christmas gift guide has given you some inspiration!
Buy them for someone else, keep them for yourself… we won’t tell. But from all of us at BBB, we hope your Christmas goes with a bang… with fireworks at New Year!
